Ask Paul B: Death by Cell Phone

... #ad▼

Dear Paul B,

Just happened to be reading about three “drunkards” who jumped into Lake Michigan to get their cell phone. What is going on? Are these people nuts? My kids love their cell phones, but they aren’t THAT ignorant…I am so gosh darn upset..

Sheila C

++++++++++++++++

Dear Sheila,

Don’t flatter yourself (or your kids.) These people were 26, and 21, and yes, they HAD to be drunk. On a July day, you won’t see me diving into Lake Michigan, and call me any name you want, but it’s STILL chilly at 67 then. These people were, apparently, from St. Paul (no connection here, please.) Thank God that they are from another city. Do we need anymore negative press, above and beyond all our ultra cold winter, murder rate, political scandals, school closings and more? I do feel terrible for the families of these “inebriated folks,” but don’t think for a minute that these poor souls might NOT have been your kids. My daughter called the police on me when I took her phone away for bad behavior. Do you think they would let a “little cold water” stop them from retrieving a $600 IPHONE? I bet 33% of teens would hop into the lake to at least “TRY” to grab that all important cell. Who knows, a party could be happening and Johnny might not now! Please show this column to anyone and everyone, because cell phones are becoming the lifeblood of our souls. Hallelujah kids, release yourself from the devilish cell NOW, or face The Rapture…

Sheila, more upsetting to me is recurring nightmare of the clown who is sexting his girlfriend, and crashes into my kids car, leaving her a paraplegic. That’s gosh darn upsetting. At least these peeps had a choice, didn’t they?

Paul B

Reading a text message behind the wheel can take your eyes off the road for an average of five seconds – enough time to drive the length of a football field. And those five seconds can have devastating consequences.

ABOUT ASK PAUL B! … WRITE PAUL B! …

ASK PAUL B! usually appears on Thursday evenings, but occasionally appears on other days or times so the article might be introduced to new readers.

IMPORTANT LEGAL STUFF:
Advice is offered for general discussion. Any advice from a columnist or someone who has never actually met you is not guaranteed to be fit for your particular situation. While the advice might help send you in the right direction to find a solution to your problem, missing information or lack of specific dialogue might cause you harm, or delay a solution to your problem. Never use this advice as the sole replacement for advice from a physician, psychologist or other health professional or other professional. The information provided through any Arlingtoncardinal.com post or Ask Paul B! post is not a substitute for health, legal and other professional advice where specific facts and circumstances warrant additional personal attention. If any reader requires legal advice, health advice or other professional assistance, each reader should always consult his or her own legal, health professional, or other professional advisors and discuss the facts and circumstances that specifically apply to the user. Consider the topics discussed as a part of your overall experience for your pursuit of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Don’t hesitate to get help when you might need professional help.

The views of Ask Paul B! are not necessarily the views of The Cardinal — Arlingtoncardinal.com.


Get updates from The Cardinal ALL NEWS FEEDS on Facebook. Just ‘LIKE’ the ‘Arlington Cardinal Page (become a fan of our page). The updates cover all posts and sub-category posts from The Cardinal — Arlingtoncardinal.com. You can also limit feeds to specific categories. See all of The Cardinal Facebook fan pages at Arlingtoncardinal.com/about/facebook …

Search Amazon …

Search for products sold on Amazon:

Arlingtoncardinal.com is an Amazon Associate website, which means that a small percentage of your purchases gets paid to Arlingtoncardinal.com at no extra cost to you. When you use the search boxes above, any Amazon banner ad, or any product associated with an Amazon banner on this website, you help pay expenses related to maintaining Arlingtoncardinal.com and creating new services and ideas for a resourceful website. See more info at Arlingtoncardinal.com/AdDisclosure