Dear Paul B,
I am now married almost 11 years (next week.) I am disgusted that my “wife” has really never apologized for anything that she has done. There is always some excuse or obscure reason that “explains” why it is never her fault. There are just the two of us living together, so that when I picked up the olives and they all spilled out because the cap was not screwed on, the argument began. Barb yelled “it must have been one of your buddies who opened them up last weekend.” Barb is the only one who eats black olives and my “buddies” drink beer and eat pizza. I asked them, and none of them even like black olives. I was moving them to reach the maple syrup in the back of the fridge. She said that “I always blame her for everything.” This is total bunk, and nobody would put up with her “holier than thou attitude.” Are you getting this?
AL
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Dear AL,
Where have you been for 11 years? Have you been waiting this long to take issue on this matter? You really needed to address this problem in the beginning. So many of us sweep these issues under the carpet, and then you trip hard on that HUGE lump, and break your nose/marriage. I have often reminded folks to “skip the small stuff,” and you really need to accept that she may never apologize. You could bring it to Barb’s attention, but she is much like that old dog who “can’t learn new tricks.” You could also tell her that it really bothers you and that you both need to visit a counselor. It really wouldn’t hurt, and will definitely improve your communication skills to one another. Give it a shot.
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